College Football thoughts and whatnot...

I've attempted to make some earthly sense of this nonsensical mutation and haven't really come to anything. But some of this might be mildly cogent.


-I keep hearing people say things, definitively, like "LSU would destroy Kansas" or "Missouri's going to beat the crap out of Kansas". Really? You really have that much faith in your own eyes after this abortion of a season? Stanford 24 USC 23. Appalachian State 34 Michigan 32. Kansas 76 Nebraska 39. South Florida ranked #2. Ron Zook 28 Jim Tressel 21. Colorado 27 Oklahoma 24. Kansas State 41 Texas 21(In fucking Austin). Navy 46 Notre Dame 44. Boston College ranked #2. Arizona 34 Oregon 24. Louisiana Monroe 21 Alabama 14(At Bryant-fucking-Denny Stadium). Mississippi State beat Auburn AND Alabama. Virginia 48 Miami 0(In the last game fucking ever at the Orange Bowl.). Wyoming 32 the same Virginia 13. Troy 41 Oklahoma State 23. Western Michigan 28 Iowa 19. I could go on. Really? You still have that much faith in how much you know about who's gonna win these games? Well, I don't. And I don't feel lesser for admitting that.

-And for everyone in the Connecticut sports & entertainment network who just doesn't get it. THis is BAD for college football. A couple upsets in a season, sure that's good. But we're sitting here two days to Thanksgiving and I can't definitively tell you that there's one legitimately GOOD football team. Forget greatness. So way to go 85 scholarship limit, you're just as shitty as the salary cap in the craptastic NFL. (Okay, you're not that bad.) You could very easily have a one loss West Virginia team (from the awful big east, no disrespect to WVA, just the big east sucks and if this West Virginia team was special, they'd have won out.) playing a two loss team from a legit BCS league. Hell, Georgia got their ass beat by Tennessee, they'll probably lose the SEC East to the Vols and they're NOT OUT OF IT! This is bad. Unless Kansas beats Missouri, Oklahoma and then LSU(Or whomever) in the title game, I can't really award anyone a National Championship out of this mess. Maybe you can get a purple "Field day" ribbon or something.

-Same goes for the Heisman. You're either voting for the best player(Darren McFadden) who plays on a 4-loss team that's gonna git it's coach fired. Or you're voting for the winner of the showdown Saturday between KU and Mizzou. And 2 grand says less then 10% of the voters had seen both guys play before Nov 1. Or you're a fucking retard and you're voting for Colt Brennan. Which brings me to...

-Everyone not rooting for Boise State on Friday night is dead to me. Forever. There are no excuses for rooting for Hawaii, there are no excuses for rooting for them against Boise. None. However, Boise(And Washington the following week if the Broncos should fail.) aappears to need some added motivation. Here it is, this blog will be a "Boise State" themed blog should they go to sucktown and beat the Rainbows on Friday. (And a Purple Husky themed blog should Washington do it the next weekend.)That's right you heard it here, the Woodshed goes Boise on Saturday if they beat the Rainbows, (Yeah, here...you're still Rainbows, queers) and thankfully deliver us from the hands of the Banana Republic Rainbow Queers going to the Sugar Bowl. (PS. Fuck you, Hawaii. Just in case your wonderlic scores were a little too low to follow that one. You can use that to buy some more blonde hair extensions.)

So a top 10, cuz after about 13 it would be ridiculous to try and sort, anyway, and some picks for the week.

1. Kansas. Embrace the suck, people. (TM Matt Saracen) KU's a damn good football team and I fully expect, not that any expectation I've had since 9/1 has come true, the Red'n'Blue chickins to blow up Gary Pinkel's defenseless Tigers. Also, make mine Reesing for Heisman. He's the most valuable player in the nation, he's got the numbers, he's lifted a .500 type football team to at least an 11-1 season. He's the guy.
2. LSU. Why is Les Miles the favorite for the Michigan job? What happened from the middle of last season when his dumb ass essentially gave away two games with a made hand of a team and now that he's only given away one(So far)? Somewhere in the last twelve months, he became a genius and a slam dunk choice to get his ass Tressell'd for the next decade. Jeff Tedford is still a better coach, Michiganders. Trust me, when he arrives on campus, he ain't bringin' Nick Saban's hard ass recruits, nor will his connections in the Bayou help the Wolverines recruit head to head in the crucial Ohio recruits Michigan needs to get back to beating Ohio State regularly. (And as for game day acumen, didn't they blow a 13 point lead to Kentucky?) (This had nothing to do with LSU's rank, but hey they're loaded and fast and huge, what more do you need to know. Stop McFadden, root for Tennessee to beat Kentucky for the 1132nd time in a row and they'll cruise to New Orleans.)
3. Missouri. I'll say it again, that wasn't a championship defense that played K-State on Saturday. Daniel's a good player, Macklin's scary good and those tight ends are like Mike Shanahan's wet dream. But eventually they will have to stop Reesing and co.
4. West Virginia. Had to be some couches'a'fire in them thar hills when OU went down on Saturday night. Now all they need is for OU to bow up and win the Big XII title game and they're likely home. (Oh and they have to beat the University of Bristol or Hartford or whatever then the Wanstaches.) But what an example of how the standards are not where they should be for a National Title shot. West Virginia's played well, to be sure, but they aren't killin' folks the way you would have expected a National Champion West Virginia team in this Rich Rodriguez era to kill folks. Ultimately I'm hoping they get Virginia Tech in a BCS game, Bud Foster's D vs that spread is a game I'd pay to watch.
5. Ohio State. That Illinois game is going to be with sweatervest for a long, long time. And that gameplan, as it were, against Michigan was the most disrespect I've ever seen any coach show another coach in a big game in my memory. They threw the ball twice in the second half, with a four and eleven point lead. It was essentially the Waterboy offense, where they just downed it because Bobby Boucher couldn't beat them if his team had the ball. All those platitudes after the game can't replace the fact that Tressell essentially said, "You can't score a touchdown on us, loser." for the final 3 quarters.
6. Arizona State. Another team that, incredibly, still has a chance to go to the big one. Of course, beating USC on Thursday night(And suddenly scary Arizona Dec-1) looks to be a bit much.
7. Georgia. Were they even ranked after Tennessee throttled them? And now you wouldn't be able to get an opponent to volunteer to play them for all the money in the world. Praying for a Georgia-Texas Sugar Bowl.
8. Oregon. But they're not gonna finish here, Leaf's little brother looked as shaky in a Pac Ten game as big bro looked in San Diego. UCLA and Oregon State have to be seriously excited about getting the Ducks sans Dixon.
9. Oklahoma. I'd hate to be like anybody near Bob Stoops this week. He looked more red assed then someone who stopped short in front of Rudolph in Lubbock Saturday night. All they had to do was beat EITHER a crappy CU team or a standard Texas Tech team and they'd be right in the middle of this thing. Beat both and they'd be in the driver's seat. For a coach who's that competitive, giving away a chance like this in a year where there is no 2004 USC or 2005 Texas has to just piss him off.
10. USC. And suddenly they're an Oregon loss, which looks fairly likely, away from another Rose Bowl birth. (Which is okay, because USC-Ohio State is a lot better for my traditional eyes after this f'd up year.)

Picks
Nebraska 144 Colorado 144(Game called due to darkness, despite a 10am local kickoff.)
Kansas 42 Missouri 31
LSU 34 Arkansas 21
West Virginia 41 UConn 10
USC 27 Arizona State 10
Georgia 31 Georgia Tech 17
UCLA 27 Oregon 24
Oklahoma 34 Oklahoma St 24
Texas 24 Texas A&M 14
Boise State 76 Hawaii 49
Kentucky 38 Tennessee 27
CSU 23 Wyoming 17
Mississippi State 27 Ole Miss 17
Virginia Tech 27 Virginia 23
Florida 55 Florida State 24
Auburn 45 Alabama 14

And that will leave us with the following Championship games
ACC: Boston College vs Virginia Tech
Big XII: Oklahoma vs Kansas
SEC: Georgia vs LSU

USC will need to beat UCLA to lock up the Pac 10 title
Ohio State has won the Big 10
West Virginia will have locked up the Big East

So the BCS/Big January Bowl games should look like this...
National Title: LSU vs Kansas
Rose: Ohio State vs USC
Sugar: Georgia vs Shit, I don't know
Fiesta: Texas vs Arizona State
Orange: Virginia Tech vs West Virginia
Cotton: Oklahoma vs Florida
Citrus: Tennessee vs Illinois
Outback: Auburn vs Wisconsin